Staring Into The Abyss by Richard Thomas

I love this cover art.

After my last short story I was given to review, I was pretty hesitant to get into Staring Into The Abyss. This book contains 20 short stories. All of them are written well, but I found some confusing. Thomas definitely wanted to let your brain come to its own conclusions about some of these stories.

The trouble with reviewing stories and movies in the horror genre is sometimes you can become slightly “numbed” to some contents. This compilation of stories are dark, and would be a good fit for someone first getting into horror. Not all horror is blood and guts, which you’ll soon find with the quick descriptions I’ve included for you guys.

Maker Of Flight – Alone in a room, a man is forced to make robotic blue birds all day, every day. Some people would consider that a vacation..

Steel-Toed Boots – If you’re trying to get your dick sucked by a male stranger, there’s always a chance it could be your pregnant wife.

Freedom – I think a suicidal just got saved by a prostitute.

Committed – Yet another reason for me to be paranoid when going to the post office.

Splintered – Allows you to skip ahead or keep reading a story about a guy whose relationship has gone sour, kind of a confusing one.

Fallible – If you fall asleep with a lit cigarette, you’re gonna have a bad time.

Stillness – Another confusing one. Guys alone in his apartment (or the entire city for that matter) you don’t know why, eventually he gets taken down by a group of storm troopers? Da fuck?

Fringe – The Russians implanted a microchip in your head, what the fuck has been going on in your life?

Underground Wonder Bound – This isn’t a horror story at all. This is about a couple going to an underground club to have sex with strangers. Hey, you’re into what you’re into I’m not here to pass judgment; just cause I’m not down with it doesn’t make it horrifying.

Amazement – Heroine will make you kill yourself and others.

Victimized – Some chick who has been abused her whole life enters a no rules fighting ring to fight her ex.

Twenty-Dollar Bill – Have you ever stopped and thought about whose hands that twenty-dollar bill in your pocket has touched? (not as entertaining as it sounds).

Interview – Babysitter killer, Quentin Tarantino style.

Paying Up – An absent father finally finds his daughter, as a stripper. Absolute horror story for a father, not for a 22-year-old female.

Ten Steps – A kid’s adulthood is affected by his childhood.

Honor – A wife decides to follow in her mother’s footsteps, and her brother kills her client.

Stephen King Ate My Brain – self-explanatory. My favorite of the bunch.

Twenty Reasons To Stay And One To Leave – A husband dealing with his failing marriage, caused by the death of their son.

Transmogrify – Can you technically be considered a lesbian if you’re a robot that looks female?

Rudy Jenkins Buries His Fears – I think a 10 year old killed a werewolf that’s been fondling him every night.

Links to pass the time on lonely nights:

Kraken Press
Kraken Press Facebook
Kraken Press Twitter
Richard’s Website

Bath Salt Zombies Movie Review

Bath Salt Zombies might be one of my newest, favorite movies. It has the most absolutely perfect balance of comedy and faces being torn THE FUCK off. It’s a completely different type of zombie movie, because only when you’re tripping balls do you actually become a zombie. Smoke some bath salts, eat someones face. Wake up, smoke some bath salts, chow down on someones intenstines. Wash, rinse, repeat motherfuckers… Round of applause for the lamest line I’ve ever written.

The movie opens with a hilariously animated explanation of what bath salts chemically are, how they work, and what happens when you’re high as a kite one them. The movie basically follows around a crusty punk all through his addiction to bath salts. I know, totally lame and not really possible, but that’s the fucking point! You have this DEA officer chasing after the source of these bath salts, and whenever he comes around a straight up action movie style fight sequence breaks out. As I was watching, I hated this pig but then towards the end I guess I started to feel sorry for him, since he is on the side of good, justice, and doughnuts (not to mention he’s pretty fucking hilarious). During this movie you’re going to laugh then watch someone get ripped apart, all while listening to sweet, sweet, glorious music. And it’s going to keep happening throughout the entire movie, and you’re going to be pissed when it’s all over. This is the first movie in a long time where I can say I appreciated the different, not exactly typical, camera angles and filters used because it just added to the hysteria.

I have no other words except: go get the effin’ movie! If you love comedy, blood, and guts, with loving, tender touches of insanity than you won’t be disappointed. I don’t usually do this and I’m sorry to commit to this so quickly but… I love you Bath Salt Zombies.

Comedy: 50%
Violence: 50%
Nudity Count: 2 Sets O’Titties, 1 Vageeen, and 1 Pretty, Pretty Princess..  I mean Penis

 

 

 

 Links To Pass The Time On Lonely Nights:

Aggronautix.Com
Aggronautix Facebook
Music Video Distributors 
Trailer Spotlight 

The Download Horror Movie Review

The Download Horror is a new take on comedic horror. Robbo and Dougie are watching a movie “Sacrificed”. You too get to watch along, with the added bonus of their hilarious commentary about lesbians, boobs, and their prayers for a lesbian orgy, when they’re not making fun of the movie. The actual movie that you’re watching is about the chick you see above, sacrificing people for Sibalinka, an idol that has taken over her life. From the moment she was handed it, and the dagger you see in her hand, she has had no problem hacking up people around her. She throws an axe into her husbands face and chopsticks into her friends’ eyes, both of which come back as zombies. This is an okay-slightly-boring horror movie with awesome zombies, lots-o boobs, and two hilarious guys talking through it the whole time.

As I watched the movie, I found it was revolving around Robbo and Dougie talking, not the actual images in front of me, which felt a bit strange. I did not enjoy the “Sacrificed” movie (aside from the chopstick zombie), but I enjoyed the fuck out of listening to those two talk. They are the Beavis and Butthead of horror and I loved them! They are actually the producers of the movie, but they really need their own television show. Seriously, you wouldn’t even mind these two talking through an entire movie in a movie theater because they’re the that entertaining.

Hate Crime

Hate Crime is a disturbing film about Nazi skinheads violently torturing an innocent family. I don’t even think the movie was one minute into it before these fuckers in black stormed this unsuspecting families new home. It’s extremely vulgar and they definitely weren’t afraid to cross any lines. The entire movie was shot in first person (i.e The Blair Witch whatnots), but it was done extremely well. The acting and the filming itself was done great, but of course I have something to pick at. Something about the scenes of these family members being tied up and scared shitless just wasn’t doing it for me. Something about those ropes was painfully obvious that they were tied really loose, making it look a little cheesy. But I understand there’s only so much you can do to show that this family is trapped and suffering before you actually start hurting your actors.

I felt like the subject matter was great, but I found myself getting bored from time to time.. okay, I might have just realized that I’m totally fucked and should seek therapy as soon as possible. Check out Hate Crime if you want to feel like a terrible person for voluntarily watching this movie.

Bigger & Badder Short Film Review

Reviewed by Siobhan

Welcome back everyone! Have you guys missed me? I’ve missed you — I mean that in the least creepy way it is possible for a complete stranger on the Internet to say that to you. It’s been a minute since I’ve had a chance to write something new for you guys, so hopefully you won’t be disappointed.

Bigger & Badder is a short film created by Richard Wantuch. What we have here is a drug deal gone bad because of a werewolf, don’t you hate when that happens? A kid named Peter goes on his first “delivery” for his dickhead of a boss Trevor (seriously, when you watch this you will hate the shit out of him). Peter and another man enter the bathroom together, in a totally not weird way at all, to exchange the package. The swap is cut short when an old man barges into the bathroom acting fifty shades of crazy, and eats Peters associate.

All in all I thought it was pretty good, but I do have something I need to get off of my chest. It’s 2013 and we still have not found a way to make werewolf costumes look less shitty! It’s a fact and ya’ll know it. The werewolf did look lame, but I wouldn’t feel bad about it, because I think 99.9% of every werewolf costume looks fucking cheesy (if you go to my blog you can actually see a picture of me in my werewolf costume this year, and yes my boyfriend was a slutty little red riding hood). I really enjoyed the ending and it made me wish it were a full-length film. If we work together, we can help fight against shit werewolf costumes. 2013: The Year Of Change For The Werewolf – YES WE CAN!

 

Links to enjoy:

Trailer

Facebook

IMDb